The countdown to a wedding is reasonably stressful – weddings fall in the top 5 most stressful life events – and regardless of how laidback the bride is usually, during the wedding planning she is unlikely to be stress free. So cut her a little slack, and don’t add to her stress by saying one of the following:
“You’re sure to lose weight before the wedding, with all that stress”
Even if your best friend could lose weight, in your opinion, before her wedding, this is up to her (and only her) to decide. If you’re her mother, don’t even think about mentioning her weight, even if you think it’s in her best interest – believe me, it isn’t. Saying something about her weight will add to, not diminish, her stress levels.
“It’s your wedding, you do what you want to do”
Whilst I’m all for brides doing things to please themselves, a wedding day is seldom only theirs. Actually, there are two families and a great many friends involved in the process, and it is not the bride’s happiness alone that counts. For those brides who genuinely want input, telling them that they should please themselves leaves them feeling unsupported. So try and give your opinion only when asked, and be there to take up the slack if you can.
“I suppose you’ll start trying for kids right away, given your age”
Comments like these should remain strictly in your head, and even there they need re-examination. No woman wants to be told that she is beyond it, or that she should be worrying about anything other than the wedding. Comments like this lack tact.
“Aren’t you a little young for marriage?”
Whatever age a bride chooses to marry, it is entirely upon her to deal with the repercussions of her decision. And it is not up to you to point out the error, if indeed there is one, of her ways.
“Are you sure you want to marry Fred?”
Of course she’s sure she wants to marry him, or she wouldn’t be planning a wedding. Whether or not you think her choice of partner is right for her or not, is irrelevant. No matter how pressing you feel it is to share your scepticism with her.
Happy Wedding Planning!