While American television continues to teach us about The Third Date Rule (apparently the unwritten rule is that a couple should have sex on their third date – whoever came up with that idea should possibly be shot!) and we are constantly being presented with evidence that virgin brides no longer exist, lurking amidst the world’s somewhat relaxed values regarding sex there are most certainly a few exceptions to the rule. Reasons for this range from religious practice to personal preference and while most might pooh-pooh the notion, it most certainly is a remarkable achievement to be able to say that you walked down the aisle a virgin.
Now, of course if you are a virgin on your wedding night then the whole getting married thing is kind of extra special for you … and possibly terrifying. Along with all the pressures that go along with planning and then executing your perfect day, you now have a bit of extra performance anxiety to deal with. Add to that a shyness when it comes to asking friends and family for advice on sex and it’s quite possible that you are feeling like a raging bundle of nerves right now.
Here are a couple of tips to help you keep your sanity:
- Relax. While that might be easier said than done, even if you have absolutely no idea what you are doing, your instincts will take you where you need to go
- Don’t be afraid of asking to take it slow. A glass of champagne, a lot of cuddling and a decent amount of foreplay and it should all be fine. Yes, it might hurt a bit, but you can work through that together. On the other side of that pain is something amazing!
- Don’t expect to get too far. As much as the Fifty Shades of Grey folk would have us believe that orgasms are sitting in a corner just waiting for their virginal princess to be fiddled with, that’s not quite how it works. Love making, like anything else, takes practice. Don’t feel despondent if it doesn’t happen right away. You will figure it out. Until then just have fun exploring each other and relax your mind. Many a head has gotten in the way of that elusive “o” – don’t let yours!
- Citro soda is your friend. There is nothing less sexy than a bladder infection, but sweetheart … lots of sex in a short period of time will bring one of those things on very quickly and they truly are one of the least pleasant female ailments. Start drinking citro soda daily (or even twice daily) to prevent having any sort of unwanted flare up during the honeymoon and make sure you have a bottle or two with you just in case. I promise – this is the best advice you have ever gotten. Heed it!
That said, hats off to you, lady. Not many people get to experience their first time with the person they have already given their life to. It’s a special thing and no one should ever make you doubt that!
Happy Wedding Planning!