Wedding Etiquette / Wedding Tips & Advice

The Ins And Outs Of Being A Wedding Guest

Dear Wedding Guest, this is for you.

Here is, for want of a better or more modern word, the etiquette you should follow when coming to my wedding. I realise that you may have received numerous wedding invitations in the last year, but this one is the only one I know about. Here is how I would love you to respond and behave when it comes to mine.

  • Please RSVP – if I take the trouble to design and send you an invitation, whether it’s delivered by post or online by email, I am addressing you personally and waiting for you to personally respond in return. You don’t have to write me a thesis about your decision, just a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will do, as then I can get on with organising my wedding (which is rather a lot more work than I thought it was – just the seating arrangements are giving me sleepless nights).
  • If you’ve changed your mind – and can no longer come to my wedding, please let me know. Otherwise I’ve already paid for your meal and there is a place at my table that will stand empty all evening.
  • Please do not ask me if you can bring your children, if the wedding invitation expressly invites just you and your partner. This only places me in a rather awkward position. I have already agonised over whether or not to have children at our wedding.
  • Please do not show up with an uninvited house guest / child / great aunt and assume that there will be room for them – a wedding is run according to a tight budget, and we have invited all those we love and would like to have with us.
  • Please sit at the table at which we seat you – I know this may initially feel a little like school, but you will see that we’ve spent hours deliberating over who will get on with whom.
  • Please don’t dress to compete – even though you’ve shed 5 kg since I last saw you and worked out all spring, your beach-bod can wait for where it’s more appropriate.
  • Please switch your cell phone off during our ceremony – sitting with your head down and your thumbs busy whilst our most intimate wedding rites are happening means we miss seeing your face.

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