They do exist. Hard to believe, but some guests, for whatever reason, may well attend your wedding both gift and card-less.
Best practice, and a good idea all round if you want your nerves to survive the post-wedding ‘thank-you’ etiquette rigmarole, is to assume that there was no malicious intent, neither could they help but arrive gift or card-less. That you feel they’ve been complete #$%^* assumes that it was deliberate, which often it is not.
Card-less is difficult enough – just who gave us the matching salt and pepper cellars of which we now have three sets? – but one does wonder how a guest can withstand the embarrassment of having attended a wedding, enjoyed the reception and left without having dropped a couple of notes into a card and licked the label.
Speculation aside (and there will, of course, be many outraged individuals, when they hear of the giftless guests, who will tell you that thank you notes are only for those who have brought you gifts). You, as the bride, are nonetheless left with the rather agonising task of thanking them for attending your wedding. Ignoring them will only make you look bad.
The etiquette of ‘thank you’ notes subscribes to a certain time line. Socially acceptable is a note within three months of the wedding (there will be those guests who expect a ‘thank you’ in the week you’re on honeymoon, but they’re the exception rather than the rule).
With any luck, the culprits will have, by then, admitted their guilt to you over dinner or made up for it in other ways, absolving you of the task. The best strategy is to ‘thank’ them for being there, rather than giving a gift. Who knows, perhaps they did give you a gift and it disappeared?
A basic thank you:
Thank you for being at our wedding. Without you and our other friends and family around us our day would not have been so special. It was wonderful to share stories/laughs/drinks with you around the table, and once we’re more settled we would love to see more of you.
Sincerely / Love / Always
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