How do you cope when your ex gets married?

posted on 18 January 2012 by The Tie The Knot Team
posted to Wedding Tips & Advice


The upside or downside of Facebook, depending on where you stand, is that it’s difficult not to know when someone you were once close to is now very close to someone else.

And it is even harder to admit, when stumbling upon this often unsolicited information (if it’s not FB then you can be sure someone will go out of their way to inform you), to the tumult of complex emotions that follow the discovery.

Whilst you may have no intention of marrying the guy yourself and you’ve moved on already, there is that ‘knocked for six sideways’ thing that happens that can not only be confusing, but also exhausting. It’s enough to send you directly to duvet-over-head mode for the entire weekend.

All these rather irrational feelings – because it’s not as if you’re pining for him sadly – are completely normal. You will also be relieved to hear that, according to psychologists, it also doesn’t mean you’re spiteful if you definitely don’t want to wish him well.

The other ‘out there’ feeling to arise can be jealousy. Not of his new fiancé, you’ve been there and done that (well, almost), but feelings of envy of where he is in his life and why you aren’t there yet. These too, say psychologists, are normal reactions to news your ex is now about to marry someone else.

Depending on how recent your break-up was, you may also feel a lot of anger and resentment, mixed in with a fair amount of sadness, that your relationship did not work.

But here’s how to so get over it, for rise to the occasion you must (we’re not suggesting you attend the wedding, but coming to terms with the news is something you can do):

  • Tell your close girlfriends so that you have someone with whom to commiserate
  • Join a gym and exercise profusely to release those ‘happy’ endorphins (kick-boxing is a good one)
  • Get out and about and surround yourself with happy and positive people
  • Go over the reasons why you left him in the first place
  • Unfriend him on Facebook (if this is how you found about the engagement)
  • Send a ‘congratulations, you’re getting married’ card to your ex (this will make you feel a whole lot better)

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What Do You Think?

  1. 1 Jun 2012
    Enid says

    My ex is getting married tomorrow .. I am very sad I feel anxiety but reading this made me feel a little at ease. I still cannot believe that he is getting married, but its something that I just have to deal with.. we broke up 3 years ago. Its still crazy that I could still feel this way! And Ive been with and still am with someone else for a year and a half. I know that eventually ill be better. I’ve been good since we haven’t been together so this is just another bump on the road in My life.
    Thank you.