Help, I’ve Got Cold Feet!

How to know the difference between just plain nervous and oops, this isn’t the right decision…

It is difficult to know, right in the midst of all the preparation and just as you’re about to have your final fitting, the difference between last minute jitters and a red flag indicating more serious problems, like maybe you’re not making the right decision.

First off, let me reassure you, all brides (and grooms) get the jitters. The freak-out period through which you’re presently going is nothing new. Most of the time the reasons for which you think you want to call it off do not amount to much and may include any one of the following:

Pre-marriage panic – sweaty palms, shaking, waking up at night, barely eating…you are about to make possibly the biggest commitment of your life and you’re bound to feel, well, a little nervous – no big deal, breathe, breathe, breathe
He / she is getting on your nerves – suddenly the irritation factor has gone up by more than a few notches – his habits, her friends, his mother…..
The zing has fizzled – there is a definite lull in your sex life, things are not what they were, and the lack of zing has you distinctly worried, particularly as the ex factor is lurking and will be attending the wedding. Hello, that is what honeymoons are for…

Humour aside, there are more than a few reasons for a red flag. If any of the following feature in your relationship, then feel no obligation to go through with the wedding:

Your future spouse has a drug or alcohol problem and it worries you
Your future spouse is violent
You discover a recent deceit or evidence of unfaithfulness
You had the jitters for over a month
Your friends or family do not like your spouse

Finally, if you cannot see the wood for the trees and need a sympathetic ear, see a counsellor to help you make sure that you’re doing the right thing.