We’re Eloping – how best to do it

posted on 8 December 2011 by The Tie The Knot Team
posted to Wedding Tips & Advice


Not everyone wants the ‘big, white wedding’. And sometimes running away and doing it all in secret and telling everyone afterwards is a lot easier, particularly with the high cost of weddings and the months of anxious list ticking ahead of the average bride.

The big thing, when eloping (because it can be an incredibly exiting thing to do), is two fold: 1) do it for the right reasons, and 2) choose the elopement (sort of) option.

The wrong reasons for eloping include the following: your parents don’t approve of your choice of partner, or you don’t like your partner’s family / friends. Eloping is a wonderfully romantic notion, but it can also irreparably harm relations with your respective families, particularly the mothers of the bride or groom for whom attendance of a wedding is a fairly ‘big deal’.

There is a right and a wrong way of doing things. Fleeing to Vegas might work for the odd movie star, but you’re missing out on celebrating a wedding with friends and family by doing so, and forfeiting the pictures and memories that go with it. But there are ways to elope (sort of) that will avoid the pitfalls of an elopment (proper).

Because, let’s face it, one can end up being swept up in a storm of consessions and sacrifices that the prospective bride and groom promised they would never make, and now are, because, well, it’s your wedding for goodness sake. So, here’s how best to elope, but only sort of:

  • Choose a small chapel in the middle of nowhere and invite your parents and best friends to come with you – the intimate group can then do high tea or dinner afterwards
  • Have a ceremony for only the two of you in a romantic setting but still hold a reception afterwards for friends and family
  • Take a photographer with you to your ceremony – that way you can post them on your website when you send out an announcement of your wedding

discuss the elopment with friends and family before doing it, which gives them time to express their feelings about it and for them to get used to the idea, and make sure to have a party when you return home

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