Despite the claim that 99.5% of long distance relationships don’t work (this statistic comes from a single guys’ website where being single is rather a status symbol), some who meet and conduct relationships, despite living in different cities, manage to successfully marry.
There is enough of this sort of thing going on (living and loving long distance) to warrant more than a couple of websites dedicated to the subject. However, the bottom-line to a successful long-distance relationship is that intimacy is really important to share and experience, and the relationship must be emotionally open if it’s going to work.
Friends of mine met whilst living apart and subsequently married. They also had not only mutual friends, but mutual family, which made it that much easier to keep the romance going.
And these days we have Blackberry and FB to help (or is that hinder?) things.
That same couple later married and moved the same town, which made things a lot easier. Starting off together and then moving apart, whilst trying to maintain a relationship, can cause a lot more strain than initiating a relationship whilst living apart.
So just what can keep a long-distance relationship alive and possibly lead to marriage?
- Both of you are committed to being committed – because without commitment from both sides, a relationship very easily comes under strain
- Your long-distance arrangement meets both of your needs (one of you is not left wishing it was different) when one of you is not making a major sacrifice, or playing the role of the saint or matyr
- Keeping the relationship emotionally open and physically closed – this is about managing expectations – you’re not going to expect from your long-distance partner what you would if they lived around the corner from you, and you need to govern your emotions accordingly, but you’re also not physically available to others, so understanding your intimacy needs is vital
- You’re both focused on your careers when you’re apart and on one another when you are together – if one of you is not as dedicated to your career and spends swathes of time longing for the other, it isn’t going to work
Happy Wedding Planning!