9 Love Laws – A happy marriage is an achievement. It is something that two people commit to and then continuously strive for. Much as you would put time and energy into achieving a life goal, so you should treat not only your marriage but all relationships in which love is the main element. Often it can be challenging to take control of one’s own actions instead of pointing the finger of blame in the direction of a loved one.
1. Listen without interrupting
Whether in times of conflict or simple conversation, show your partner the respect they deserve by allowing them to finish their thoughts without cutting them off. Communication is such an important factor in a successful relationship. Both parties should try and make communicating with each other a smooth and easy process.
2. Speak without accusing
If something is bothering you, state it simply. Try not to attack character when voicing concern for something. If it bugs you that he never rinses the toothpaste out of the sink, say so without calling him a disgusting idiot. If it bugs you that she never hangs up her towel, ask her to do it nicely without telling her that she is a slob.
3. Give without sparing
In a marriage it should be safe for your heart to give everything it has. There should be no need to keep a little bit back for yourself. In giving everything, you are in turn able to receive everything from your partner.
4. Answer without arguing
When one party is angry it is natural for the other party to answer back in anger. Remember that you have the power to calmly diffuse the situation, or you can make it worse by bringing even more anger to the table.
5. Enjoy without complaint
Appreciate the big and little things your partner does for you. Enjoy those things without judging them. Saying “Thanks for the picnic lunch, Honey, I just wish you had packed in some brie,” is unnecessarily mean and serves no purpose.
6. Trust without wavering
Always remember that you are not a fool for trusting your spouse. You spouse however, is a fool if they break that trust.
7. Share without Pretending
If you find yourself in a place where you are sharing your life with someone but feel completely separated from them then it is time to put in a little more effort. You should never have to put a forced smile on your face and just get on with it. Take responsibility for breaking down your own barriers. Become the spouse that you wish to have.
8. Forgive without punishing
Forgiveness is not always so much about what the other person has done so much as it is about freeing yourself from a burden of the heart. Forgive your partner’s mistakes for both of your sakes and try not to indulge in petty punishments. Recognize that anger and spite may take hold and that you may give in to them, but try to remind yourself that you are responsible for half of the harmony within your relationship and it is up to you to engage it.
9. Promise without forgetting
Promises should never be made lightly under any circumstances, but within a marriage they should be taken especially seriously. Make good on all the promises you make to your spouse. Never promise something in the moment only to decide later that the promise doesn’t really matter, no matter how big or small it was.
Happy Wedding Planning!