Wedding Tips & Advice

How Not To Propose – Because It’s Sure To Fail

My marriage proposal was one of the most romantic I could have hoped for. The significance of the whole thing totally escaped me until the ring was virtually upon me, so it was a complete surprise.

Despite the surprise factor we had already discussed, in much detail, my urge to get married (a complete turnabout for my puzzled partner of a good few years, who had grudgingly accepted my vehement refusal to contemplate marriage).

He had arranged that the two of us re-walk the hike on which we originally met, this time alone. It was a difficult hike – the first part of it almost entirely uphill, so I had argued my case for a very early start so that I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself in the midday heat (I am not a happy uphill in the sun kind of gal).

Having finally made it to a series of refreshing pools in the middle of the Magaliesberg, I was handed iced tea in which an engagement ring was waiting to be swallowed. I missed it completely, and had to be tactfully steered in the right direction.

You had to be there. It was a wonderful moment.

But not everyone gets it right. Here are some of the situations  in which a marriage proposal is bound to fail:

  • First thing in the morning, if she is NOT a morning person
  • Over the phone – when you aren’t present and she can’t see your face (the same holds for Facebook or an sms)
  • On an aeroplane – there is no chance of escape (you’re up in the air!) or of being able to say ‘no’
  • Whilst drunk – for goodness sake, if you had to get motherless first, then the significance of the moment is completely lost
  • Whilst getting a burger at McDonalds – unless the fast food joint has some incredible significance for the two of you, this one scores really low on the impressive scale
  • A very public proposal – making an announcement of your proposal could land you in seriously hot water if she says ‘no’
  • Without any panache – saying something like ‘we really should, I suppose’ or ‘we’ve been together a long time now, so it seems the next thing to do, hey?’

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