It’s official: Kim Kardashian (she of over-the-top media extravaganza wedding that pulled out all the stops) is not simply filing for divorce, she is cancelling her marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries (can one do that?) – after only 10 weeks of marriage.
Can one know that a marriage is over after only 72 days? And what did Kim not realise before the wedding that she suddenly seems to know now, and how can you avoid the same pitfalls?
Whilst some magazines are calling the marriage a ‘hoax’, others are voicing a similar opinion to mine – “Kim is citing ‘irreconcilable differences’ as the reason for the split – because if your problems aren’t sorted within two months they never will be, right? Our jaws are hitting the floor right now.”
Whether or not the marriage was simply a media ploy or not, is not the subject of this article. But here’s how not to end up in a divorce court early in your marriage:
- Don’t get married simply to have a wedding – yes, your friends have all got married, but if your partner isn’t someone you can wake up next to for the rest of your life, then don’t marry them
- Realise that a good marriage takes work – marriage is neither magical nor mystical, but needs skill to be successful
- Learn to talk (and listen) – assuming you understand how your partner will react in any given situation is a mistake. Learn to ask questions and listen to answers as poor communication is one of the major reasons couples seek counselling
- Fight fair (and choose your arguments wisely) by resisting the urge to bring up the one topic / phrase that will send your partner over the edge; that will take things too far
- Talk money – conflict in the money department is one of the main reasons couples argue. If your ways of handling money are very different, consider getting the help of a financial counsellor
- Put the fizz back into passion – the daily grind of marriage and parenting can lead to a stalemate in the bedroom; if you have to, pencil one another into your diaries for a regular date
Happy Wedding Planning!