As much as my sister and her husband danced their first dance in style, I chose not to dance at my wedding at all. Did the wedding suffer the consequences? Did we fail dismally to entertain? Did mirrors shatter and the world come to an end?
No, to all of the above. Our venue was completely wonderful. The entire place was overgrown with plants and statues of faeries and gnomes, spiders in webs and totally glorious things like chandeliers and stone walls with a thatched roof.
The food was good and simple and we were surrounded by friends and family – all of whom had travelled a little to get there and needed to travel a little to get back home.
Which meant that we kept the wedding small, uncomplicated, magical and without a DJ or any dance music. Well, not entirely. We did compile a series of CDs that ranged from baroque music (to set the initial tone over dinner) to our favourite ’80s music to end the evening and possibly get people dancing. They didn’t. And no-one complained, least of all me.
Fortunately, I had absolutely no pre-conceived notions on how the reception would happen. Many brides become so completely submerged in the wedding planning that when things don’t go the way they envisaged, then the wedding is ‘over’ for them. Our planning was kept to a bare minimum. Our lives (in England at the time) were so busy as it was, that making room for a wedding just wasn’t possible.
And so a dress and what the groom wore kind of evolved, with as few choices as possible. There are things I’d do differently (name me a bride who wouldn’t) like doing something more with my hair and maybe wearing a veil. Oh, and making sure that the dress had actually had the final adjustments made before the morning of the wedding!
But I wouldn’t add dancing to it. I love dancing, but I love being with my friends and talking more. And we had lots of that. Surrounded by love and good will is what a wedding is about. So if you want to dance, dance as if your life depended on it. If you don’t, don’t. It’s that simple.
Happy Wedding Planning!