There are those who will say you must have a best man. They may be right. Choosing a mate to stand by your side cannot be quantified when you’re at your most anxious (and you will be).
In military terms they’re your second-in-command. They do anything from organising the bachelor’s, to providing a shoulder to lean on for emotional support (you can even count on them to help you choose the engagement ring). And, er, yes – they also get to say a toast, so you’ll want someone you can count on not to embarrass everyone and succumb to tears, or drink, as the speeches begin.
Just for the record: not everyone has a best man. Some wise men choose a number of their friends to fulfil different roles without any of them taking on the mantle.
But for argument’s sake let’s assume that you’re following tradition, here are a couple of pointers to bear in mind when making your selection:
- He’s your best mate. This one’s easy. If you have someone whose been there for you and with you for years, he’s your obvious choice.
- But if not, consider family – brother’s-in-law, father, uncle, cousin…
- Consider the following adjectives – dependable, trustworthy, responsible and confident.
- It’s a bonus if he’s already ‘officiated’ in the role for another friend, as then he’s bound to be more relaxed.
- It’s an added bonus if he’s already married, as he’s gone through the process before you.
- He’ll need a sense of humour and an engaging manner (he’s going to toast you and the bride, remember).
If you’re not a stickler for tradition and you’ve a group of friends you want to include on your day, don’t agonise over choosing one of them, use them all – the funny guys can do the speech (a tag version), get someone who has known you for years to help with the ceremony, someone whose taste you trust to organise the stag, and the comic in the group to act as the MC – a winning formula. No-one is left out, and you and all your mates get to enjoy your wedding.
Happy Wedding Planning!