In a modern day version of building a trousseau, the NY Times has identified what it defines as a trend amongst young, single women who are dedicated to planning the Big Day.
Without the groom.
They’re talking about the kind of woman who will ‘book’ the band nine years in advance. Women who, upon seeing all their friends marrying and sending out invitations, begin trawling the internet to find their dream versions of a dress, cake, venue, band, save the date, wedding favours and table themes.
Sites like Pinterest have a number of wedding boards that testify to the fact – ‘I’m single but still planning my wedding’ (she’s in love with lace and wants a really big artistic green cake with flowers – you have to see it to understand) has become a theme.
But is it a trend? Are there many women doing this, or is it just that the Herculean wedding industry has extended its reach?
The NY Times article loses all credibility when it begins referring to women as young, nubile things ‘obsessed with (your) fantasy wedding'(s).
An owner of a wedding salon is quoted as saying that dreaming about your wedding before finding the groom ‘gives you hope that you are going to find your dream guy,’ – I’ll leave you to muster the appropriate level of outrage at the insinuation that we’re all gasping, empty-headed damsels in search of knights on white horses…
If you are, of course, collecting scraps of material and pinning your perfect idea of a wedding dress without any idea of when or if you will get married, we will refrain from judgement, as we understand how easy it is to caught up in the whirl of activity and excitement that the wedding industry (for it is an industry, you are aware of that, right?) creates around the day that you choose to commit to someone else.
Re-exploring the commitment aspect, rather than the thousands of Rand spent on the perfect day, is a good idea right now. For a wedding is about:
- Love and emotional connection
- Committing in front of friends, family and the law to cement this love
- An act of devotion with a promise to remain together
This should help keep things in perspective next time you click on ‘pin’.
Happy Wedding Planning!