What’s with getting married by 30?
I recently read an article entitled – ‘Women want to be married by 30′ and swallowed. Yes I know that I’m way past 30 and thus not technically qualified to comment, but I’m also way past 30, which means that I sooo can comment…
Because, hello!, how is it possible to make a choice at the age of 20 something that will influence the rest of one’s life? How can one place a time limit on these things?
And then I got to thinking. In one’s twenties, one lives a fairly cushioned existence, flitting from one experience to the next whilst focussing on one’s career and fun. Dating and deciding what one enjoys doing – finding that special something one is good at – are of prime importance. What can one know about marriage?
On the other hand, the closer to one’s early thirties one has children, the less concern there is of complications, even though women can, technically, have children well into their forties.
If you are 20 something and you’re feeling compelled by the rush of those who seem to have to be married by 30, here are a few pointers to ponder upon, before jumping into marriage with the first opportunity that presents itself:
- Children – and someone as revered as Maria Montessori (she created the Montessori teaching system) classifies people as children right up until the age of 24 – cannot possibly be emotionally prepared to have kids; they can’t know themselves yet
- If you don’t reach the stage of financial independence before marriage you will remain financially dependent and possibly always think that you cannot go it alone; certainly your confidence around money will be low
- One needs time to develop into a complete individual so that you have a better idea of what you want from a partner
- One needs time to develop healthy body image / confidence – if it’s not healthy, this can wreak havoc in a marriage (and it rarely is before 30)
- You need time to develop a network of friends and mentors – this usually happens in one’s twenties and early thirties
- It’s the only time in your life you can go on adventures – teaching English in China in one’s fifties just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?
The next time you hear a clock ticking as you head towards 30, roll your eyes, square your shoulders and just forget it!
Happy Wedding Planning!