What Doth a Successful Marriage Make?

Ever thought about what it is that makes a marriage successful? What is it that some couples appear to have, that others don’t? Is there a recipe to success, or is it something that just ‘happens’? And how do you know if you’re marrying the ‘right’ person?

Someone once likened marriage to the seasons. Spring is the time of first falling for one another, an effortless blooming of love. Summer is the initial years where not much needs to happen for flowers to bloom, autumn and winter are when the initial euphoria fades, where you begin noticing differences, and perhaps argue more.

This same person believes that the major key to marriage success is not finding the right person so much, as learning to love the person you have found.

But here are some healthy tips:

Be yourself – this might sound obvious, but many accommodate partners to their own detriment
Take space for yourself – and allow your partner their space too, for personal development, for friends, for activities outside of the marriage
Communicate, communicate – share thoughts, feelings and expectations, and if there is hesitancy or an inability to communicate, seek counselling
Script a ‘happy marriage’ – sit down and compile a list of what makes your marriage happy, and include things you can work towards
Show appreciation and gratitude as often as possible
Be willing to compromise – this includes trying to see things from the other’s perspective so that a middle path can be reached
Tackle the finances – this can wreak havoc in a marriage if you’re not on the same page, so decide early in the relationship how money will work
Share household chores – a sign of adulthood is being prepared to share the chores, particularly if both of you work, in a way that neither of you feels overwhelmed
Keep the magic alive – intimacy and expressing your relationship intimately are an important aspect that needs a little work to maintain the sparkle