No Kids Allowed – For Or Against?

posted on 19 September 2012 by The Tie The Knot Team
posted to Wedding Tips & Advice


We specified there were to be no children at our wedding. And then bent the rule for my sister who had travelled up from Cape Town for the nuptials with a 6-month old. Some noses were put out of joint as a result.

In hindsight, I don’t blame them – more than a couple had young children they’d had to leave at home. You can understand that this might be a contentious issue. But hey, she was breast feeding and who could she leave him with?

Whether we like it or not, to have, or not to have children at a wedding is something of a can of worms. There are those (usually without children) who adamantly state that children should remain off the agenda, whilst those weddings that do have children often benefit from the sheer joyful impact they have on such a celebration.

So where do you stand on this? There are a number of aspects that influence your decision, of course:

  • Is the wedding an evening sit-down dinner that stretches on way beyond bedtime? If so, it is possibly not appropriate for children
  • Is the wedding formal – ditto above
  • Is it at a non-children friendly venue – ditto above
  • Is it a daytime, backyard, informal wedding – children would fit right in – you could even arrange a children’s area with a hands-on sitter (happiness all round)
  • Do most of your friends have children? Then excluding them might cause a number of your guests to decline your invite

The pros and cons are numerous:


  • They do photograph well!
  • Having flower girls and page boys is a lovely additional touch
  • Your friends with young children do not feel torn and anxious about getting home and can thus relax and enjoy themselves
  • Weddings are a symbol of love and children are very much a part of this mix
  • Children often behave surprisingly well at events


  • Unruly misbehaviour
  • Anxious parents constantly rushing after children who cannot sit still (for this reason it is a good idea to provide the children’s corner option)
  • For those without children, having them around can be trying

Each wedding is different, and the decision for or against is up to you.

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What Do You Think?

  1. 15 Feb 2013
    Charise says

    I am having the same dilema at the moment regarding the ‘no kids’ policy. I have made my 8 yr old nephew my page boy, so he can attend – after all, he forms part of the bridal party. My soon-to-be step daughter has just given birth and will be all of 8 weeks old. So in my view, that is acceptable – she is a baby, not a kid!

    Quite honestly though, does it matter if anyone’s nose is knocked out of joint – whose day is it anyway?

    Furthermore, if the invite is addressed to say ‘Steven and Marie’ and doesn’t say ‘family’ or ‘children’, then surely it is just that. If they then ask or confirm ‘4 pax’ instead of the ‘2’, they can be declined and advised that it is just for the 2 of them.

    Some feedback would be great – but know that I am not too concerned about guests being offended about their kids not being invited, as not all know how to behave :)


    • 21 Feb 2013
      Kelly-Ann says

      I totally agree. Its my day and if I want children there i will say so, the only child allowed at my wedding is my own one. And its because its her dad’s and my wedding and she is our flower girl. I dont want kids runnign around disturbing the peace. If you are offended my not inviting your kids, then you can decline the invitation.