Never Give Up On Your Playtime

posted on 12 March 2013 by The Tie The Knot Team
posted to Wedding Tips & Advice


Last week I shared with you how my husband and I had a small and slightly unconventional wedding. We kind of eloped, but we took some people with us so even though it was a secret it didn’t really count as eloping. It was just a wedding. Our silly little wedding. And it was a day that both of us hold dear.

But real life starts again after weddings are over, and real life likes to kick you hard sometimes. For some reason, the first year of marriage tends to be extra tough. Weddings and honeymoons suck you dry financially which can be incredibly stressful, and then on top of that you are forging out a life as “us” instead of “me and you” which can end up being a bit of a tug-of-war nightmare.

What I didn’t mention in the post about my wedding is that both of us have children, and all three of these children live with us. The “honeymoon period” is a little different when you are a fulltime parent, and it makes it a little harder to juggle all that marriage advice that everyone from your granny to your friend’s obnoxious teenager is throwing at you. Never mind that this well-intentioned advice does little more than make you feel like you are already failing. That said, not having kids doesn’t mean that this whole marriage thing is going to be that proverbial walk in the park either!

Anyway, while all the people in your life are “helpfully” throwing all their wisdom and advice at you, you know what word gets thrown around the most? Work. You have to work hard at relationships. You have to work hard at your communication skills. You have to work work work work work…

Sound familiar?

I want to propose something different. How about instead of working, we play? How about we leave the “work” part of life for our jobs and save the “play” part for each other. Because let me tell you a secret: the playing makes us like each other more. The playing brings us closer. The playing makes us happy. It gives us a reason to laugh. It gives us a reason to hold hands. To hug. To kiss. To look each other in the eye and smile one of those smiles that you feel with your whole body. The playing is a reminder of “this is why I married you”.

So I’d like to challenge you. After you have finished walking down the aisle, after you have thrown your bouquet into a crowd of your single girlfriends, after you have taken off the wedding dress that allowed you to feel your most beautiful, after it is all over and you are feeling the anti-climatic shock of the reality that the “big day” is behind you settles over your being, I want you to do yourself a favour: don’t fall prey to the seriousness of life. Walk into the sunset not with the idea that you are in a “serious marriage” but rather give yourself the gift of a playful marriage. And whenever you feel like things are going badly, remind yourself that “playing” can sometimes fix even the most disillusioned of hearts.

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