Keep in mind – “you don’t need ALL the stuff”

Once the planning for a wedding is underway, things can easily get out of hand. Before you know it there is a list a mile-and-a-half long of all the ‘stuff’ you need to make it a ‘perfect’ day. If not kept in check, this can get the better of you.

And we all know that the ‘stuff’ is not what’s important, right? Like, it’s a party, party, party? And the really important stuff is already there – your love for one another, the excitement of marriage, the carefree sense of celebration that keeping it simple is guaranteed to elicit, in bucket loads.

This is not even about budget, although not taking out a second mortgage is a good place to start. This is about maintaining perspective.

Today’s wedding has become something of an industry. In America it even has its very own term – ‘wedding-industrial complex’ (I’m surprised there isn’t an accronym to accompany the mouthful), and it is seriously out of whack if the average wedding magazine is anything to go by.

You do not have to do the svelte (very young) nymph with hair piled up on head (where do they get all that hair?) in white, strapless A-line dress look that has become a symbol of modern day weddings. Neither do you need any of the accompanying traditions – first dance, cake cutting, garter throwing, bouquet tossing, colour co-ordinating, favour giving, groom’s cake making – each of which comes with a rather hefty price-tag attached.

And the new dress you just have to have for the rehearsal dinner, with the accompanying new pair of shoes? Get a grip. You probably don’t need the rehearsal dinner (do you really need the stress just a few nights before your wedding?) and if it looks as though you’re heading that way despite knowing this (these things have been none to happen), sit a moment and simply say the following mantra: “We already have all the things that matter.” “This stuff, we don’t need.” Follow that with three deep breaths …