Is It Bad Taste To Invite Your Ex Mother-In-Law To The Wedding?

posted on 24 October 2012 by The Tie The Knot Team
posted to Wedding Etiquette, Wedding Tips & Advice

mother-in-law

You’ve heard of the etiquette rule: never invite an ex to your wedding, but what about your ex mother-in-law?

Latest news on the Jennifer Aniston / Justin Theroux wedding (for those of you who are not up to speed Jennifer met Justin on the set of ‘Wanderlust’ and began dating him in May 2011, getting engaged when he proposed on his 40th birthday party in August) is that Jennifer is all set to invite Jane Pitt, her former mother-in-law, because she is ‘closer to her than she is to her own mother Nancy…’.

The article (and who knows what to believe in the news) goes on to expand the theory with tales of how Jane has constantly been there for Jennifer over the past seven years. She also ostensibly still has a close relationship with Brad, but will stop short of extending an invitation to him because he will be too much of a ‘distraction’.

Celebrities can get away with just about anything it seems. But would you invite your ex’s mother to your wedding?

My knee-jerk reaction is that your present beau has to have a pretty strong sense of his own place in your life, and a bucket load of self-confidence to not feel the presence of your ex’s mother as an invasion of his territory.

Let’s put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. Would you cope if it was his ex’s mother? If you can honestly say that this wouldn’t bother you at all, in fact, you welcome the idea, then you’re a bigger person than I.

If there are children involved (which in Jennifer’s scenario is not the case) then this is a particularly sensitive area. If their grandmother (for that is what your ex mother-in-law would be) is very involved in their lives, then an invitation is probably par for the course as in this situation you want to smooth the path of your future. Your new husband needs to feel comfortable with your children’s grandmother.

And if your relationship with her is good, then she is more than likely very accepting of you for what you are, and not for your former relationship with her son, which makes an invitation all the more comfortable.

There are seldom hard and fast rules for moments like these. At the end of the day each situation is different and needs the wisdom of the moment to come to a decision.

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