How to Bring up the Topic of Babies With Your Partner

posted on 30 March 2012 by The Tie The Knot Team
posted to Wedding Tips & Advice


Talking babies. Something you may have already broached, but probably not. It doesn’t seem that important during the dating, living together, getting married phase of a relationship. But sooner or later it will be. To one or both of you. But how do you bring up the ‘I think I’m ready’ conversation with your partner?

Having a baby is rather a monumental decision. And one that needs both of your consent and buy-in if it’s to succeed. But talking about doing this can sometimes feel a little like pressure for the partner, particularly if they’ve not contemplated it before, or don’t feel ready.

And don’t assume that if you leave the odd baby magazine lying around that your partner is going to be on the same page as you.

For many women talking babies is an important conversation to have. And there are a couple of steps you can follow that might make it a little easier to broach with your partner:

  • Figure out why it’s important to you that you have a baby – once your reasons are down on paper, and you’ve looked at how this will affect your life, it will gain perspective.
  • Set the mood for the conversation. Launching into it as you’re about to leave for work because you can’t contain yourself is not going to get you the reaction you were hoping for. Make it an intimate moment.
  • Make sure that it’s at a moment when both of you have time to discuss the idea. On your way to visit your parents is probably not optimal.
  • Own your statements – use ‘I’ rather than ‘you’ (I would really love to have a child) rather than (wouldn’t you love to have a baby?) or you’ll have your partner on the defensive within minutes, particularly if this is all ‘news’ and you haven’t broached the subject at all before.
  • Talk about why parenthood is important to you. By this time you will know if there is disapproval, surprise or outrage from your partner. If there is, you might want to wait a few months before broaching the topic again.
  • Chat about specifics, like if you can afford it, when the best time is for both of you, whether or not to start trying right away etc.

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