Rather than vent about those weddings where money, rather than sense, appears to dominate. Where, rather than celebrating the union of two lovely people, there is a rather garish display of how much money can be spent – I thought to bring you a guide on how best to do an over the top (OTT) wedding.
This guide serves, on the one hand, as a ‘how not to’ for those trying not to succumb to the pressure, and given the industry there to cater for this over display of wealth, this could be difficult. On the other hand it can serve as a wake-up call to those who do not know how to curb their spending.
Go all out for an OTT wedding:
- Make sure you have the most expensive arrival possible – something like a helicopter flip should do the trick
- Have your wedding dress specially designed by a top wedding designer – an off the peg version will simply not do
- Have your groom’s suit made bespoke – that he probably will never wear it again has no bearing on this decision; it is your big day
- Have the rings delivered to you up the aisle by a bird of prey, or a pair of doves
- Invite relatives you do not know or do not like, as well as all your respective work colleagues (your boss in particular)
- Send invitations in boxes filled with flowers – they will be sure to impress
- Hire a photographer and a film crew – there are those friends of yours who cannot fly in for the wedding, so you’re beaming it real-time on You-tube for their benefit
- Take out an additional mortgage for a top wedding planner, a DJ who is very highly regarded because he usually does the club scene, and a venue that rivals the Ritz
- Host a four-course sit-down meal for all your guests, including their partners, and children
- Ask a top pastry chef to make a seven-tier wedding cake – the cost of the icing alone could get your first child through primary school
- Order in 30 000 pink and white roses for decoration (that’s over and above the floral table centrepieces)
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Happy Wedding Planning!