We place a staggering amount of importance on finding the ‘love’ of our lives. This person must fulfill just about every need we have.
Often these expectations are not only unrealistic, but the consistent support we anticipate from them is also inappropriate – one person cannot fulfill all our needs.
Everyone wants to feel loved, deeply connected to others, and appreciated by them. It is the lack of this, perhaps, that has led to the dis-connect in society, where instead ‘stuff’ has high value – according to research those who have a sense of being loved and accepted by others place a lower monetary value on possessions.
Steps to find love around you:
- Meditate – an essential step to knowing yourself; actively bring silence into your life; this form of ‘active’ silence comes from learning to key in to your innermost voice.
- Practice self-empathy – tune into your own needs and feelings, celebrate your uniqueness and cease self-judgement; forgive yourself and learn to play rather than taking life too seriously.
- Take responsibility for your feelings – do not blame others for your feelings. They might be a stimulus, but they don’t make you feel as you do.
- Introduce meaningful conversation – which doesn’t mean sounding pompous, it means being actively open and curious about the person opposite you, really listening, being present, refraining from judgement and criticism, or filling silence with inane chatter.
- Serve others – learn to give from the heart, assume the best of the person opposite you, try to see things from their point of view, give the type of love you want to receive.
- Express your feelings – build a vocabulary for what you feel, share your needs and experiences, connect compassionately with yourself and others, with compassion and without violence.
- Express gratitude – for all that you have, give thanks and express this actively to those to whom you can show appreciation; honour those relationships where you already experience love.
- Learn to receive – with as much joy, compassion and empathy as you are trying to give.
Happy Wedding Planning!