5 Tips for the First Dance

posted on 5 June 2013 by The Tie The Knot Team
posted to Wedding Dance Lessons, Wedding Tips & Advice

First Dance Tips

A lot of us are simply comfortable with shuffling around aimless on the dance floor when one of our favourite songs inspires us to get up and move, but when it comes to your wedding you might not be satisfied with a bit of simple swaying. The best thing you can do for yourself if you want to make an impression on the dance floor is to hire a teacher to choreograph a dance to go with your song and then teach it to you, but if time and money are an issue there are a few tricks that you can use to help you not feel too vulnerable out there.

The Man is in Charge

This might be a bitter pill to swallow in most areas of life but on the dance floor it is best that each gender knows their role and sticks to it. Dancing is a communication of the body, not unlike wordless love-making. With practice you learn one another’s style and rhythm and you make the best of it with each other. This symbiosis works best if we ladies give in and stop trying to lead. Now…this is far harder said than done but it is certainly necessary in order to negate disaster. The man is in charge, he takes the lead and the woman follows where his body tells her to go. The sooner you both learn this, the better. Yes, a woman who is constantly trying to lead can be a bit annoying, but a man who won’t take charge is just as frustrating.

Maintain Your Frame

A good dancing frame goes a long way in helping both of you on the dance floor. The gent holds his lady firmly under her left arm with his fingers on her back. She uses her left hand and puts it on his right shoulder. Now if you travel with your hand a little way down the male shoulder you will find a V-shaped dent in the muscle. Hook your thumb and index finger against this muscle for a comfortable hold. Now Gents, take your lady’s right hand with your left hand and hold it about jaw-level for the lady. Now hold this position firmly as if you are balancing a small hula-hoop between you. You don’t want to squash it but you don’t want it to fall.

Dance With Your Core

When you dance, keep the upper part of your body firm. Do NOT pump your arms up and down like you are collecting water from a well! First lead with your core and let your legs follow. Your core holds you in position and your legs follow in response. Gents you can use your hands to subtly manipulate your lady and show her where you want to go. You know how sometimes when you’re walking together and she just about walks over a kid or slams into a pole but you are there to gently steer her out of harm’s way? Dancing kind of works like that!

Keep Your Cool

As you practice, do your best to be patient with each other. It is likely that one of you will “get it” faster than the other, but it is important not to get annoyed.

Relax

It may be easier said than done, but relax. If you are relaxed you are more likely to gel with each other on the dance floor. Look in each other’s eyes (not at your feet!), smile, and enjoy yourself. You are married. It’s a happy day!

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What Do You Think?


  1. 6 Jun 2013
    Helen says

    It also helps to choose a good song to dance to … he better the song the quicker your guests will get up and join you!


  2. 5 Jun 2013
    Tasha says

    I can imagine that I’d concentrate on my frame, too much, that I’d end up looking like a broken robot. Will take the advice and remember to relax. Great post!